


To Be Your Lover

by AppleScruff



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-12-02
Packaged: 2018-02-13 17:30:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2159103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AppleScruff/pseuds/AppleScruff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn Malik is in love with his roommate, Liam Payne. Which isn't convenient, but doesn't have to be disastrous. The twenty-year-old is no stranger to pining.  </p><p>But then Louis Tomlinson joins Liam's band and Zayn has to watch the boy he loves lose his heart to another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Crushed. That's the only word to describe how Liam looks right now. Utterly crushed. The life that used to always be in his eyes has flickered out and has been replaced with emptiness. His eyes have become like black holes, from which no escape is possible.

 

Zayn wants him to cry. Seeing him cry would hurt much less than seeing him like this. If he cries, it would mean Liam is still capable of feeling emotions, that Louis hasn't fucked him up so bad that he is numb to his own sorrow.

 

He could Louis have done this to Liam, who is not only his band mate, but also his friend? Did he not realize what the news would do to Liam, is he really that obvious to the feelings the younger boy has for him? He fucking asked Liam to be his best man.

 

Anger wells up inside Zayn, as he thinks about the feathered-haired boy with his stupid blue eyes, that Liam couldn't stop talking about. He had kept gushing how pretty they were while Zayn was suffering. He had grown to like Liam's band mate, despite him having the affections that Zayn craved, but all of that is out of the window now. He doesn't feel anything but hatred for the person who has gotten Liam in such a state.

 

Yesterday, Louis got engaged to his girlfriend and he had called his band mates the news the next day. He had told Liam how happy he was that she said and he couldn't wait to start his life with her. He didn't hear Liam's heart break when he told him Eleanor was the love of his life, that there was no one else like her. But Zayn had seen it all on his face and had been there to catch him.

 

Zayn doesn't know what to say to Liam. He doesn't know how to comfort him. There aren't any words that he can say to him that will lessen the pain that he's feeling, that can mend the cracks in his heart. He used to know how the younger boy felt, but he can't say that anymore. He may love someone who's in love with someone else like Liam, but Zayn's crush isn't getting married, Liam crush is. He doesn't know how the younger boy feels.

 

All he can do for Liam, right now, is hold him. All he can do is try to comfort him with kind words and his presence. He may not be able to take the hurt away, but maybe he can make it bearable.

 

"Was I stupid to think I had a chance with Louis?" Liam asks Zayn as he looks up at him with eyes void of emotions. "I probably was. He's so different from me. What would he want with someone like me?"

 

Zayn wants to tell him that Louis is the stupid one, not Liam. Louis is the one who doesn't know how lucky he is to have the Liam's heart, the personification of perfection. If it had been him, he wouldn't have turned Liam away.

 

But he doesn't tell his friend this. Instead, he tells him, while pulling the brunette even closer, that he wasn't stupid to think his feelings could have been returned. Believing in love is never stupid.

 

He doesn't want him to give up on love. He knows he's hurting at the moment and love doesn't seem worth the risk of getting hurt but when you find that someone who's meant for you and you alone, it is. When that happens, you'll be glad you haven't given up on finding them.

 

Liam asks if Zayn really believes that there's something like a soul mate and the dark-haired boy says he does. He sees how happy his parents are with each other and make him believe in that special someone. He doesn't tell him he has already found that person.

 

It is then, that tears start to flow from Liam's brown eyes. Something that Zayn said must have shaken him from his catatonic state and has allowed him to finally feel how badly he has been hurt. Zayn doesn't move away when the tears start soaking his black shirt, instead he lets Liam cry the pain he's feeling into it.

 

After having cried for two hours, the distraught boy falls asleep in Zayn's arms. The tears and sobs have drained him of his energy and have left his body with the need to recharge. He looks peaceful in his slumber, as if nothing bad has happened to him and Zayn takes a moment to appreciate the sight. What he wouldn't give for Liam to always look like that, with no creases in his forehead caused by worry or scrunched-up eyebrows caused by pain.

 

Zayn just wants all of the trouble that has been caused by Louis joining Liam's band to never have happened. He truly believes Liam would have been happier, if Louis had never come into his life.


	2. Chapter 1

When the boy walks into the auditorium, Zayn isn't paying too much attention. His eyes are on the comic he's perched on his lap. He has stopped listening to the poor fools who thought they were oh so talented a while ago.

 

Maybe Zayn should have declined Liam's invitation to come to the auditions. He didn't understand why Liam asked him in the first place, seeing as he has nothing to do with Liam's band. He's just someone who likes listening to them - because they are really talented- but he isn't in the band himself, so why should he be here while they decide who's going to be there new singer.

 

Their last singer had graduated unexpectingly, no one had thought he'd make after having failed so many times before. But he did and now they suddenly were without a singer.

 

So that's why they're holding these auditions. They want to have a singer as soon as possible so they might have a chance to win the first price at Winter Smash, a band competition they've tried to win the past two years. They want to practice as often as possible, so they need a front man pronto.

 

But up until now, all the people who auditioned, sucked, Some of them couldn't hold a tune, sung flat or couldn't sing at all. There were one or two hopefuls but the band hadn't been blown away by them, so they'd continued looking.

 

That's why Zayn doesn't look up as the next guy walks towards to where the band members are sitting behind a desk.

 

The band had only are been able to use the auditorium because all of the professors love Liam, the drummer of the band and Zayn's roommate. Not that Zayn can really blame them, Liam is amazing.

 

"What's your name?" James asks, the band's bass player. He's the most rock'n'roll looking one of the band, with his long black hair, thick beard and rings in his ears.

 

"Louis," the guy replies.

 

The hoarseness of his voice makes Zayn look up. Is the guy going to audition while he has a cold? That's really unprofessional. The guy doesn't look like he has a cold, though. He looks healthy with his tan skin and lively blue eyes. He isn't too bad looking and unlike Zayn, he has an ass. Suddenly, Zayn is not too sure he wants this Louis to join the band.

 

Liam appears to think the opposite, if the way he's looking at Louis is anything to go by. His brown eyes have become hug as he takes Louis in. Zayn can taste the thirst in his own mouth as he looks at his roommate.

 

Zayn wants to punch something, preferable this Louis guy's face. He doesn't like the way Liam is looking at him, not one bit. Why can't Liam look at Zayn like that?

 

The jealousy taste bitter in Zayn's mouth. Why did he fall in love with his friend, who isn't interest in him, not because his straight - Zayn thinks he could handle it if that were the case - but because he just isn't Liam's type. Liam's type is apparently, a small boy with tan skin, blue eyes and a huge ass. 

 

"What are you going to sing for us?" is James's next question. Zayn can see curiousness in James's eyes. For some reason, he apparently thinks Louis might have something.

 

"Hey there Delilah," Louis replies. His voice is steady, no trace of nerves audible. Which is another thing Zayn can hate about him because Zayn himself hates standing in front of a group of people. It's jet another thing that makes him better than Zayn.

 

"Alright. Let's hear it."

 

Louis starts singing and Zayn hates to admit, he sounds really good. He knows the words, doesn't go out of tune and the hoarseness of his voice is soothing to the ears.

 

The band must think the same because James, Lorence - the pianist of the band, Harry - the curly-haired guitarist and Liam look impressed. Lorence whispers something into Harry's ear and he nods his head, a grin on his face.

 

Well, Zayn is sure of it now, Louis is going to be the new singer of the band. Which means Zayn isn't going to band rehearsals as often anymore. He doesn't think he'll be able to handle Liam making googly eyes at another guy. He isn't a masochist.

 

"That was really good," James tells Louis after he's finished. A smile curls the blonde haired lad's lips upwards. He's clearly pleased about the compliment. It pisses Zayn off even more. "I think the other agree with me when I say you're a serious candid."

 

"Cut the bullshit, James," Harry exclaims. He leans forwards, his arms in front of him on the table. "He's the only good one we heard all day."

 

"That's not true, though," Lorcen disagrees. "Barbara and Keith were good as well. Louis is just better than them."

 

"That's what I said, didn't I?" Harry protests, no heat behind his words. He rolls his eyes before turning back to Louis. "Like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, you're the best we heard. James over here, just like pretending he's some professional judge of some talent show." He pats James's shoulder, who doesn't look mad because he's used to Harry's antics. "But what he was trying to say, we all agree you should be our singer. So, welcome to the band."

 

Zayn sees relieve flicker in Louis's blue eyes. So, he  _was_ nervous, despite not showing it. Getting into this band must mean a lot to him for some reason, then. Maybe he has bad grades and a band is his only hope for him to make a living.

 

"We're rehearsing tomorrow. We want you to come to Harry's dorm room around three o'clock." James is directing the conversation again. "Harry will give you directions. From his dorm, we'll walk to the garage we always rehearse at."

 

Liam's dad owns the garage and he lets his son's band practice there any day they like. His father, Goeff is a music fan himself, so he loves it that his son is in a band. It sort of makes up for Liam being gay, at least that is what Liam told Zayn. His parents hadn't been too thrilled when he came out.

 

Zayn's parents hadn't reacted too well either. Especially, his father because he was a religious man and choosing to be gay is choosing to not follow the Koran. To say his father was displeased would be an understatement. He had thrown Zayn out of the house and told him to never come back.

 

His mother couldn't bear her baby being all on his own, so she kept in touch with Zayn and had send him money so he could support himself. When Zayn's father found out, he'd filled for divorce and even though it broke Zayn's mother's heart, she'd signed them. He lived with his mother until he graduated and went to university.

 

When Harry has given Louis directions to his dorm, the boy leaves and the band starts to talk amongst themselves. Liam doesn't join them, instead he walks towards Zayn and comes to a standstill next to him. Like always, Liam's close proximity feels like electricity tickling Zayn's skin.

 

"Louis was amazing, wasn't he," Liam gushes as he sits down on the floor next to Zayn's chair. His eyes are scrunched up and he's grinning from ear to ear. It makes Zayn's heart break a little as this smile is not for him.

 

"Yea, he was good. He'll sound great with the band." Zayn tries to sound enthusiastic but he's failing miserably.

 

Liam notices, of course he does and the smile disappears from his face. "Didn't you think he was good?"

 

"No, I did think he was good, I'm just a bit tired. My shift was grueling."

 

Zayn works at a comic store. It's situated a bit off campus. It isn't big but big enough to attract enough costumers to keep it afloat. He works there every weekend and during the mid-terms, together with a blonde Irish man and a quirky brunette girl with a boy's name. Zayn likes working with them.

 

"Let's have a movie night," Liam proposes, his eyes eager. Zayn knows it partially because Liam likes the movies they watch together and partially because Liam likes cheering Zayn up. Liam really cares about his friends being happy.

 

"Sure. The Dark Knight again?" It's both Zayn and Liam's favorite movie. Both of them love superheroes, which is one of the reasons why they became friends and Zayn fell in love with Liam.

 

Liam gets back on his feet and Zayn gets off of the chair. Liam turns to his band mates and announces. "Zayn and I are leaving. There's nothing else we need to discuss, right?"

 

"No, you can go," James tells Liam while he waves with his hand.

 

Liam turns around again and locks his harms with Zayn's as he smiles. "Let's go."

 

It's only a three minute walk to Zayn and Liam's apartment. One of their neighbors is standing outside their apartment when they arrive. It's a girl with long blonde hair and small boobs who, like Zayn. has a crush on Liam. She always touches him when they talk, which always drives Zayn up the wall.

 

"So, did you find a singer?" she asks,. with her irritating posh voice. She isn't really rich, though and neither are her parents. She just ;likes to pretend she's sophisticated.

 

"We did, Piper," Liam tells the blonde girl. He fumbles with the keys as he tries to both look at Piper and open the door.

 

"Just give it to me," Zayn grumbles when Liam almost drops the keys. At this rate, they're going to be standing in the hallway until New Years.

 

Liam hands Zayn the keys and Zayn manages to open the door in two seconds flat. He walks into the apartment and waits for Liam to come in as well.

 

"Have a nice day, Piper," Liam tells their neighbor before walking into the apartment. He closes the door behind himself.

 

"So, what are we going to order?" Liam asks as he pulls off his coat.

 

"Let's do Chinese," Zayn proposes. He walks towards the DVD player and kneels down so he can put the disk in. When it's safely in the player, he gets to his feet again, grabs the remote and walks towards the couch.

 

He sits down next to Liam, who's holding the phone in his hands, ready to dial as soon as they've made up their minds. He must be hungry.

 

"Sure. Let's get Chinese. It's been a while."

 

The last few times they had a movie night, they'd ordered pizza. Zayn is glad Liam decided to change it up a bit because a person can only eat so much pizza before they grows sick of it.

 

Liam dials the Chinese restaurant while Zayn goes through the menu of the DVD. He scans over the extra features before going back to the main menu.

 

When Liam's done ordering, Zayn starts the movie, volume low so they can hear the doorbell. Like always, Zayn leans back against Liam's chest, Liam's arm slung around his shoulder. They've always been touchy feeling, even before Zayn had fallen in love.

 

Falling in love had of course complicated things. Suddenly, the touches began to mean more to Zayn than to Liam and for a while he'd tried to created more distance between him and Liam. But of course, Liam had noticed and he'd asked Zayn what was wrong. Zayn had lied and said he'd been suffering from a cold and he'd been afraid of infect Liam. Liam had told him not to be silly and had pulled him into a hug. That had ended the touching embargo.

 

Liam chest feels nice. Warm and firm. What Zayn wouldn't give to be able to run his hands over it. Or lick it. Zayn would really like that too. Something twitches in Zayn's jeans. Shit, he should probably think of other things.

 

Zayn forces himself to pay attention to the movie. Luckily, he doesn't have to try too hard and before he knows it he's engrossed in the movie.

 

When Bruce Wayne meets the girl who's cat woman, the doorbell rings. The food is here.

 

"I'll get it," Zayn tells Liam as he pauses the movie. He stands up from the couch and hurries towards the door. He grabs the wallet from the pocket of his coat and opens the door.

 

When Zayn has paid, he takes the food and with a nod of his head, closes the door again. There's steam coming from the small carton boxes as Zayn walks back to the couch.

 

Liam grabs for the food as soon as Zayn has put the bag with carton boxes on the table. He digs inside the bag in search of the food he'd ordered as Zayn sits back down on the couch.

 

When they've sorted the food, Zayn starts up the movie again. He grabs one of the carton boxes and sits back down against Liam's chest.

 

As they continue watching the movie, Zayn can't help but let his mind wonder. What if this was a date? This could easily be a date if Zayn was allowed to tilt his head and plant a kiss on the underside of Liam's jaw. His scruff would tickle Zayn's lips.

 

But Zayn is not allowed to do that and Zayn hates it. This always happens to him. He always falls for the wrong boys. 


End file.
